There is something Americans find exquisitely irresistible about Italians. When you hear of passionate love affairs, they’re almost always with men named Paolo. And when men gather over beers to speak of past encounters, there’s almost always one they can’t forget. Italians, like many Europeans, are obviously doing something right.
What the hell is it?
Americans are working hard to rid themselves of the close-minded mentality of the way things ‘should’ be in a relationship. But let’s face it: they’re clearly not working hard enough. The acts of falling in love and falling in lust are facing constant hurdles; there’s a constant pressure of getting to that white picket fence and having to reevaluate each step towards it to ensure efficiency and maximum speed.
Are you bored yet?
It’s no wonder the Europeans’ way of life is so much more fucking appealing.
Date Like One:
1. Living to Work Vs Working to Live: This work ethic Americans are so proud of is ruining lives as we speak. Every time work takes precedence over your lover, the flame dies a little. We have to work to survive, but when you chose it over the rest of your life, be prepared to face the consequences. (Like walking in on your wife sleeping with the pool boy). Play hooky every now and then and remember that a long day of work doesn’t feel as gratifying when you have no one to come home to.
2. The Definition of Monogamy: There is a difference between someone being your lover and someone being your slave; Americans have a hard time grasping that. The jealousy factor is much too prominent amongst American relationships, turning most free time together into a battle of defense: “I did not sleep with the fucking postman, drop it!” Understand that the population is, roughly, 50% the opposite sex and you can’t stop inevitable interaction. You want to keep your lover’s gaze? Show some confidence; nothing shines brighter.
3. A Life Outside Your Relationship: What makes Italians so attractive isn’t just the passion for love; it’s their passion for all things ‘life.’ While in your head you see you and your new lover doing everything attached at the hip, you don’t realize this is disaster brewing. Get a life, pursue your dreams; there is nothing sexier than someone with their own ambitions. While you’re busy climbing to the top, you can look down and watch them all chasing you.
4. Sex is Porno, With a Twist: Take the intensity and inhibition that shines through porn and add some sensuality and you’ll get the true meaning of an orgasm. Instead of taking the traditional oral to penetration route, try arousing all the senses first. Leave the clothes on and be fearless in your explorations. Fuck scheduling ‘sex’ in your busy calendar.
5. Take a Detour: Instead of worrying whether or not your new lover is ‘marriage material,’ how about you just shut up and enjoy. Any wise person will tell you there is a lot to learn from even the shortest of romantic encounters; grab a pen. If you’re constantly aiming for the end result, not only will you miss the scenery, you’re also more likely to take a wrong turn. So stop, take a deep breath and enjoy the rush for what it is.
Redundant? Maybe. Something you’ve heard before? Probably. But just ask yourself why you haven’t stopped reading.
Sure, Italians can be a little crazy and a pain in your ass. You’ve got to pay the toll somewhere down the line, don’t you? But don’t underestimate what you’re getting in return. We question things that are left unquestioned and have a much more developed understanding of common sense than most Americans. That kind of stimulation and enlightenment is priceless.
If you find yourself wondering why your relationship is falling flat and you can’t stop fantasizing about the Italian hottie in the cubicle next door, you may now know why. Gentlemen, it won’t hurt for you to learn to cook either. And ladies, let your freak flag fly, be proud of your body, be independent and don’t be afraid to take life by the horns.
Date like one, so you don’t get dumped for one.